Do you have a mindset of a victim? Are you limiting your own success? Today we talk about how to get out of your own way to your path of success!
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You might be thinking that this episode is really similar to the one about Limiting Beliefs that we talked about last week, and its true that the two are really similar. It’s all about mindset and the thoughts that you are thinking. Last week we discussed how something someone told you or even that you thought yourself could be causing you to doubt that you can reach the levels of success that you want. This week, we are talking about another state of mind that can cause negative results in your life instead of positive ones.
It is having a victim mindset. I just want to clarify before we start that we are talking about a MINDSET. So now, let’s break it down. Having a victim mindset means that things have happened to you and that’s why you are how you are.
One of the key factors in the victim mentality is feeling powerless. Because they don’t feel in control of a situation or a result, the victim tends to place the cause onto something or someone else. BLAME is a key word in this kind of mentality. They haven’t reached this goal or that rank because of this, that or the other.
It is true that certain situations have consequences that we don’t see coming or that the results of someone else’s actions will leave us in a less than ideal position. Can you change their actions? Can you change what happened? This is exactly what causes the victim mindset.
The truth is, the victim is so busy thinking about how they have been wronged and what has happened to them that they aren’t looking for the opportunities or for a solution to the problem. They wallow. “It’s not my fault because…” is a really common statement from someone with a victim mentality.
Does this sound like someone you know? Does it sound like you? I mean, crap happens to everyone, right? Bad things happen to good people. It’s what you DO after it though that makes the difference. You CAN change how you react to any situation or event. YOU have that choice!
For example, I’ve shared before about the hard times that my family experienced back in 2008-2009. When the housing market crashed and my husband’s job wasn’t enough to support us, I went back to work full time. Soon after, we found out I was pregnant (surprise!) and just a few weeks later I tore my placenta and when I was only 9 weeks pregnant, I got put on bed-rest. No more working for me!! We ended up short-selling our house (which is like a pre-foreclosure sale). It was a crazy time and one gut-punch after another after another kept happening.
We ended up with a pile of debt, ruined credit and lots of broken promises from the realtor and mortgage companies that effected us for YEARS after! Did we curl up in a corner and shout about how wronged we were? Did we quit trying and just give up, go on welfare and declare that we were taking what we were owed because of what had happened?
Nope!! We fought! It took us 3 years to crawl out from the pile of debt we had accumulated trying to keep our heads above water and another 3 years after that to repair our credit. It was hard. We scrimped and saved and went without things. But we did it!! And now we are better for it! It gave us a determination. A firm resolve. It showed us that if we worked hard and fought for what we believed in, anything was possible.
You bring about the things in you life that you think about, talk about and dwell on. If you are talking about wrongs and situations where you felt helpless, you will find more of that in your life. If, instead, you focus on what you learned from a situation or how you can take POSITIVE action despite the situation, you will bring more positive into your life!
There is a powerful activity I’ve seen performed on stage at a major convention. A member of the audience was chosen from the audience and brought on stage. She was asked to say “I can’t.” three times with her arms held out to her side. After saying it, the speaker was able to push her arms down easily. Then he asked her to say “I can and I will” three times also with her arms held out to her sides.
After she did, the speaker tried to push her arms down. he then tried a little harder. And a third time. The words that she stated actually caused her body to physically react in a stronger or weaker way! How powerful is that?! The words you say have power – more than you know!
One of the best and most powerful things I took home from Paparazzi Accessories convention in 2015 was the No Excuses motto. It doesn’t leave room for the victim mindset! You just do it. Forget the past. Forget what people say or expect. You just DO it!
Trend Kirby, one of the 4 founders of Paparazzi sent out some of these tweets:
Don’t use the past as an excuse to miss out on your future. New month, new goals, new victories! #Noexcuses
— Trent Kirby (@paparazzi_trent) October 1, 2015
Don’t make excuses for why you can’t get it done. Focus on all the reasons why you must make it happen. #noexcuses #fashion #paparazzi
— Trent Kirby (@paparazzi_trent) October 1, 2015
If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.#noexcuses #paparazzi #fashion
— Trent Kirby (@paparazzi_trent) September 22, 2015
[Challenge of the Week]: This week I want you to track the time you actually spend working your business! Talking with clients, selling, etc. #noexcuses
— Trent Kirby (@paparazzi_trent) September 15, 2015
I don’t regret the things I’ve done, I regret the things I didn’t do when I had the chance. #noexcuses #noregrets
— Trent Kirby (@paparazzi_trent) September 4, 2015
[Challenge of the Day]: Call 5 team members or customers and tell them thanks for being part of your business. Compliment each one. #noexcuses #fashion
— Trent Kirby (@paparazzi_trent) August 26, 2015
Build a comprehensive list of all your customers, their contact information and their preferred method of communication. #noexcuses
— Trent Kirby (@paparazzi_trent) August 21, 2015
Can you see how having a “I can and I will” attitude can totally rock your business?! Especially if you have the #noexcuses mindset to go along with it?!
The BEST thing that can happen to someone who is feeling like a victim is to take action. Make a plan, get out of your own mind. And then FOCUS! Focus on your goals and what you can do to achieve them NO MATTER WHAT!!
Bad things might happen. People might break promises or make things more difficult, but just take a step to the side, adjust your crown and make it happen!
Show Challenge:
This week, go book 3 parties! Do it!! If you already have some on the calendar, go book 3 more! You can do it!! #noexcuses