Do you have someone who is constantly negative about your business? Or are you unsure how to handle someone who comes out of nowhere and verbally tries to tear you (or your business) down? Let’s talk about that in today’s episode of the Papa Rock Stars Podcast.
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You know that you have truly stepped out of obscurity, that you are effectively marketing and working your business when the haters start showing up. If you don’t have haters, you probably don’t have success either. They go hand in hand because when you are actively striving for more, for greater, you are breaking the mold. Stepping outside of norms or accepted limitations and that scares people. And the only way they know how to deal with that is to try to drag you back down to their level. So they hate.
Does it make it right? No. Does it make it kind. Absolutely not. But hate comes most often times from fear and jealousy. In fact, if you break down the word haters it stands for Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success.
Have you heard the story of the crabs? It fits perfectly along with today’s topic, so I’m going to share it again just in case. Say you have several crabs in a crate, box or basket. You won’t need to put a lid on it or do anything to prevent them from climbing out. Why? Because if one of the crabs was to try to climb out, the other crabs would pull him back down. Even if the first crab knew that was the way to escape. The other crabs will pull him down again and again and again and even pull off his legs if he won’t stop trying to get out.
A little gruesome, but I love how this applies. People (whether it is society, your family, or random people online) are just used to things how they are. Most of them have lost the ability to dream big or were just never taught how to in the first place. And because of this, when you try to do something new, something different, they do whatever they can to drag you back down to be at the same level as everyone else.
You succeeding makes them uncomfortable. You trying new things causes them to fear – and from those places comes the hate.
Sometimes its gonna surprise you where this negative reaction will come from and other times, you may fully expect that kind of reaction from that person or group. And the severity of the hate can also vary too. It might look like your sister making some negative comments or someone bashing you on social media. It might come in the form of an angry email from a customer or someone being full out rude and disrespectful when you are doing a vendor event.
Don’t let them stop you. Don’t let them bring you down. Don’t let the haters win like that. Giving in to them won’t help you reach your goals or dreams. Giving in won’t get you success. Giving in is just quitting. Hustle harder. Dream bigger and run faster. Leave them in your dust and just hustle until your haters ask if you’re hiring.
I’m gonna share a recent experience I had with a very vocal, very toxic hater. I don’t want you to look her up or try to find her because it will only give more power to her angry, mis-placed, warped point of view. A few months back, an individual attacked my podcast and website with all the training and content I’ve created to help train and guide you on your Paparazzi journey. She stole several of my graphics and used them to mock our business and the she viciously attracted one of our Elite leaders, calling her out by name several times. This attack didn’t happen just once, not twice but 3 times.
So what do you do in that sort of situation? The Elite Leader and I asked her to remover her content in a very kind, professional way. We offered to give her correct information and facts so she could speak truth instead of lies and we tried to go through proper channels to have the very public attacks taken down.
What I want to point out to you here is even though she was spewing anger, hate and unkindness, both myself and this leader were always polite and positive. We didn’t get aggressive or mean. We didn’t want her to bring us down.
After a little research, I discovered that this individual has tried direct sales 2 times. The first time she didn’t have strong leadership and no direction on how to work her business so she could succeed. And the second time she tried, she had great community and leadership, but her leaders asked her to do things that she felt were spammy and left her with a yucky feeling. So because of her negative experiences, she lashes out – attacking anyone who is trying to climb out of the crate to try to bring them down or to try to stop others for attempting to climb at all.
Phew! Long story I know and I kept a lot of the details vague on purpose because 1- if you are listening to this podcast, you are trying to build and grow your business. You are searching for success and I don’t want her negativity to effect you and 2- What you focus on grows. Love and let go.
So maybe you have already thought of some haters you have experienced or had to deal with or maybe you want to know how to handle a situation like this in the future. Here’s a few ways I’ve found to deal with haters.
1- Kill them with Kindness. This is going to be the most difficult thing to do BUT will show your true colors. Others are watching whether its other customers, friends, family members, potential business partners, etc. Be kind, be positive and do your best in any situation.
If their complaint is a piece of jewelry or broken item. Make it right with a smile. If they have another complaint or issue, do your best to rectify the situation with grace and kindness.
If this is your Mother-In-Law or cousin or sister or neighbor, maybe it’s time to create some distance or to just rule some topics as off limits. This might even look like having a kind but firm conversation to let them know that you love them but you don’t love their comments or actions in regards to (fill in the blank) and set some boundaries.
Most of my experiences with haters can be resolved or dismissed with this first step.
2- Hustle harder. Put your head down and get to work.
When my dad is driving, he likes to do what we call “Rubbernecking”. His head is on a swivel and he looks this way and that trying to spot some wildlife out the window. He is pretty good at it since he’s been practicing for years, but sometimes as he is looking around, his speed starts to slow. His focus is distracted a bit as he’s looking all around.
So are you focused in on what YOU want to achieve in your business or are you taking your focus off the work you need to do. The tasks you need to do to grow and move your buisness forward at freeway-type speeds or are you looking all around you. Seeing what others are doing. Letting the opinions or thoughts of others impact you and drag you down.
Immerse yourself in self development. Dive into Paparazzi trainings and resources. Focus in on what you want and then push push push to get it.
3- Let it go. Hater are gonna hate. It’s not your job to try to change their mind or their perspectives. It’s not your responsibility to try to convert them to your way of thinking. All of that takes WAY to much energy and mostly likely don’t do any good anyways, so let the hate go. Don’t let it weigh you down and keep moving onward and upward.
Trying to get a hater to change their mind is like trying to get my 4 year old out of her dirty, smelly pink tutu so that I can give it a quick wash. It takes a lot of effort on my part – convincing, a little bribing, and lots and lots of time. Unlike needing to wash one of her favorite things, the opinions of a hater are unnecessary and irrelevant to your overall success and achievement. Love and let go. Love and let go.
Remember – whoever is trying to bring you down is already below you. Just keep soaring, keep dreaming, keep achieving and show them what’s possible.